My name Novita and I was the mother of twin sons, now aged 9 years. I followed the retreat early in 2006 and yesterday's inner healing retreat, April 2009. What I want to share here is how Jesus spoke to me, finishing my case one by one and answered my prayers in his own way. I married in 1999 and when I was 7 months pregnant, my husband left Christ to marry his girlfriend. I know that when new children are born and one month old. After going through a process that is not easy, my husband divorced his second wife and returned to us. But the problems do not stop there. Since that time I often receive violent acts both physically and mentally from my husband, ranging from ridicule, thrown comb, spat up beaten. He did not stop moving from one woman to another woman and there are some of them who were brought to the house. Everything I keep it to yourself. Both parents and friends no one knows. If I go to the office with a bruised face and there is a friend who asked, I said that I inadvertently knock head of children, and many other reasons. One night, when I found the full greeting card for my husband's love of one woman, weeping I say to myself, "I felt very alone." At that moment, clearly audible voice soft with full faith I believe, it is Jesus who speaks to me. He said, "You are not alone, there I am with you." As soon as I realized, I was crying uncontrollably. What a fool I thought that I was alone.
At that time, clearly audible voice soft with full faith I believe, it is Jesus who speaks to me. He said, "You are not alone, there I am with you." As soon as I realized, I was crying uncontrollably. What a fool I thought that I was alone. In the other night when I could not stand the load is so heavy, I decided to commit suicide. I think the suicide, the problem I'm finished. While deciding whether I want to hang myself, cut the vein or taking medication mosquito, I think I first pray alone, would ask God to quickly take my life. I also prayed and said, "Lord, I entrusted the children. Please order you to quickly take my life, I was not strong. "For the second time, I hear Jesus say hello to clear, he said," Your life is the greatest grace of ME, why want you to waste it. "Hearing that, I realized and crying for forgiveness from God. I joined the retreat early because I was worried that I was becoming a bit insane. Before I joined the retreat, I do not understand why in the midst of suffering life, when I pray I can say, "Thank God because I may come to feel a little bit of suffering when you are carrying the cross." At that time I think I started praying like crazy with it . Now I understand that the cross can bring joy and the Holy Spirit guide us when we surrender to God when we pray. At the beginning of the retreat, I got a lot of experience of faith which is so beautiful. Every time I close my eyes, I can imagine Jesus with sparkling white robe opened HIS hands for me. There are times where I saw Jesus stretched out his hand to me. And the message that I can and remember when I was counseling is: do not be arrogant before God. Salvation by God is not the same as salvation according to he mother. In the other night when I could not stand the load is so heavy, I decided to commit suicide. I think the suicide, the problem I'm finished. While deciding whether I want to hang myself, cut the vein or taking medication mosquito, I think I first pray alone, would ask God to quickly take my life. I also prayed and said, "Lord, I entrusted the children. Please order you to quickly take my life, I was not strong. "For the second time, I hear Jesus say hello to clear, he said," Your life is the greatest grace of ME, why want you to waste it. "Hearing that, I realized and crying for forgiveness from God. I joined the retreat early because I was worried that I was becoming a bit insane. Before I joined the retreat, I do not understand why in the midst of suffering life, when I pray I can say, "Thank God because I may come to feel a little bit of suffering when you are carrying the cross." At that time I think I started praying like crazy with it . Now I understand that the cross can bring joy and the Holy Spirit guide us when we surrender to God when we pray. At the beginning of the retreat, I got a lot of experience of faith which is so beautiful. Every time I close my eyes, I can imagine Jesus with sparkling white robe opened HIS hands for me. There are times where I saw Jesus stretched out his hand to me. And the message that I can and remember the time IHome of the early retreat, the problem is not finished even I was taken to the submission of the lowest point in my life. My children were taken away and hidden by my husband for almost 4 months. They disappear into the earth like. Husband's family no one wants to help. I pray, ask God to immediately return the children. Every night I pray that the Lord but somehow it felt as if my prayers are not lifted. I was angry at God and stop praying for two days. Then one day, I woke up at three in the morning. I left the room, sitting in the living room and prayed. I can only say, "Lord, if I may, let me take care of and raise both pieces of my heart, but God, You Will happened." Three days I say a prayer, and then I met with the children. This time after my husband violence that led to one of the rib section shifted me and in the end he chose to live with one of the other women, I also consulted with a priest in the Archdiocese of Jakarta and we parted. I'm raising children alone. In prayer I often ask Jesus to His enables me to raise my second fruit with patience, wise and loving. HE answered my prayer to invite me to the inner healing retreat. HE invited because HE wants to heal the wounds I thought that I was not incised wound on my children. Wounds can be fruitful wound and Jesus were so great love for me and my children, do not want that to happen. HE wants to heal me. That's the answer to my prayer. At the retreat, I was brought to the awareness of God's love. But I was reminded again of all the pain and heartache that I've had and it did hurt once. All my husband's betrayal and violence that I received both physically and mentally replayed in my mind. I ask Jesus to want to take all the pain and all my wounds. And HE answered my prayers. Even beyond expectations, as the washing of feet, there is a figure whose face is similar to my husband and there are similar to women who now live with him. I also wash their feet. Because of God's grace and mercy of His love, I could forgive my husband and the woman who is now living with her. And it was a big relief. My Jesus healed me. With my healing, I enabled to raise my two children with a loving and not incised wounds on them. HE who understands my needs and He who answers all my prayers in his own way. One verse of Scripture always remember: 'Commit your life to God and trust in Him, and He will act' (Psalm37:5)
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